Interesting Videos

以下是这几日不务正业在网上浏览的成果。Enjoy！

Hwa Chong Institution String Orchestra


Catholic JC Guitar Ensemble


CHIJ St. Nicholas Girls’ School Choir


Xinmin Secondary School Guzheng Ensemble


Symphony of Praise Amazing Grace

Overcoming Myself

Thanks to my mother’s wondrous flu medicine, I went to bed at 9pm last night and woke up at 11am this morning. I am fighting to keep myself awake now, repeating 菊花台’s mp3, and staring at my blank score sheets ……

你的泪光柔弱中带伤
惨白的月儿弯弯勾住过往
夜太漫长凝结成了霜
是谁在阁楼上冰冷地绝望
雨轻轻叹朱红色的窗
我依身在纸上被风吹乱
梦在远方化成一缕香
随风飘散你的模样
菊花灿烂地烧你的笑容已泛黄
花落人断肠我心事静静躺
被风乱也微摇
你的影子剪不断
独留我孤单在湖面神伤
花已伤完飘落了灿烂
凋谢的市道上冥冥不堪
手摸独樵愁心拆两半
怕你上不了岸一辈子摇晃
谁的江山马蹄声慌乱
我一身的戎装呼啸沧桑
天微微亮你轻声的叹
一夜惆怅如此委婉
菊花灿烂地烧你的笑容已泛黄
花落人断肠我心事静静躺
被风乱也微摇
你的影子剪不断
独留我孤单在湖面神伤

曲子的旋律很美，mp3的伴奏里还出现了古筝；歌词也很古雅，只可惜我看不太懂。‘花落人断肠’的凄美，让我想起了黄城时代老师解释 “帘卷西风，人比黄花瘦”的情景……不可以再想了。为了我可爱的宝贝们，明天最少要编完半首古筝合奏版的《菊花台》。

Bye Bye 了，我的假期

休假时除了打扫房子，最有意思的是做饭。平时忙碌的生活，加上母亲害怕我切到手指和弟弟精湛的厨艺，我难得有机会下厨。今天的晚餐有萝卜汤、韩式泡菜炒鱼、什锦玉子豆腐以及香菇枸杞乃白菜。除了萝卜汤是母亲做的之外，其余三道都是我独立完成的。虽然我的厨艺不怎么样，大家还是吃得很愉快。

看电视是另外一项奢侈的休闲活动。终于看完了向LZ姐姐借的古筝DVD，剩下去年LN借给我的一套《大长今》还原封不动地藏在橱柜里。

早上很想去看JC Choir SYF，但是高烧不退，只好留在家里逼自己睡觉。这阵子退烧药吃得特别频密。SYF以前忙到不能生病，SYF以后就被病菌打垮了。其实，辛苦了这么久，不论成绩如何，学生们有post SYF blues，老师也有post SYF Syndromes。

每年过完华人新年后，我就会以SYF为生活的中心，积极地预备学生。一旦进入这种状态，我就不会做/想别的事以防干扰，也会以德士为交通工具。SYF后就惨了。上个星期天工作完后，我原本应该省钱坐巴士和地铁回家，但是一辆德士经过，抵挡不住诱惑，终究还是挥了挥手。就这样，十几块钱没了。更糟糕的是，累积了一大堆的事就是提不起劲去做。

总不能一直逃避现实，待在家里沉醉在扮演“抹地板妹”的日子里，是时候面对摆在眼前的这堆困难了。

恢复宁静以后

终于挨过了SYF，接下来两周是小学年中大考，可以尽情地休假。朋友们问我要如何享受这两周的假期。令他们吃惊的是，我很理所当然地回答：“house cleaning”。小休了几天后，把上个星期六早上的时间留给了自己已经杂乱不堪的房间，中午抹了整个家的地板，下午上课，傍晚乘空档清洗玻璃窗后还抹了多一次地板。星期日一早就开始发烧，吃了药后就迷迷糊糊地，可是还是硬撑着把星期六没清理干净的洗干净。结果，直到昨天下午高烧才退。

认识我的人都觉得我有洁癖。到目前为止，最高纪录是在24hr 里抹了3次地。一般人是在白天强调卫生工作，我却非得在临睡前将房间收拾整齐后才可以安心入眠。幸好，我一忙起来就会关一只眼，假装看不到，卷铺盖到母亲房里挤着睡。所以，我从来不觉得自己有洁癖。

要坦诚地面对并接受自己是一件不容易的事，每个人面对自己的方式也不同。LZ姐姐就愤慨地说自己，“死得不清不楚！”；我就不会有这样的想法，每次都死得很清楚。两年前学生自我感觉很好，但是没有拿到预期的奖项，结果我告诉他们其实我们还不够好。去年，两间小学在有限的条件下还得了金奖，我告诉同学们那是仁慈的上帝给的。今年的成绩虽然很好，但是还是有一些不尽人意之处。作为一位指挥，我必须很了解我的乐队与每一位成员，所有在舞台上出现了的瑕疵也都在我的预知范围内。我所能做的是在有限的条件下避免、遮盖或缩小这些的不完美。我的决定不一定会让演奏完美，但是肯定是最好的选择。因此，你们的错误是我的责任。所以，同学们不必为自己的错误演奏耿耿于怀，如果换一位同学来奏，效果肯定会更差。

其实，不论我们有多努力，每次的演出都免不了有瑕疵。而这些的不完美就成为下一次冲刺的原动力。冲刺的前提当然是休息。除了睡觉、打扫房子外最重要的四大补品是“吃、喝、玩、乐”。今天中午的慰劳会有：

1. THAI PINEAPPLE RICE
2. BUTTER & PEPPER PRAWN
3. SOTONG SATAY NONYA STYLE
4. LUXURY CHICKEN ROLL
5. SWEET & SOUR FISH
6. BRAISSED EGG TOFU WITH SHRIMP MAIZE
7. WHITE CABBAGE WITH BLACK FUNGUS & TUNG HOON
8. DEEP FRIED SPRING ROLL
9. WHITE FUNGUS WITH LONGAN, RED DATE & LOTUS SEED
10. FRUIT PUNCH

有来的人应该很幸福，被喂得饱饱；没有来的人就吃大亏了。

ps: 看来大家都很了解我，送的礼物我都非常喜欢。谢谢！

Beyond Price

I was overwhelmed by fatigue, physically, mentally, and emotionally. After SYF, I just could not remove myself from my beloved bed. Luckily, I had managed to suspend or cancel some of my lessons. Tears rolled down my individual students’ cheeks when I forced them to rest for 3 weeks, and many thanks to LH for standing-in a few sessions to conduct the practices for my primary schools during my absence. I know that this is not fair to them but I know that if I do not devote myself to NY and NJC this SYF, I will live with regrets.

True enough, when they finished their playing at SCH, I am at peace with myself, contended and happy. They had finally understood the true meaning of music and art; performed their music with passion, emotions, depth, precision, and concentration; to them the award is secondary, they were pleased with their own performance; learned from their mistakes, forgave their teammates’ unintended blunder; matured, showing true sportsmanship, thinking and behaving like musicians.

GOD is kind. Both schools were awarded Gold with Honours. Their efforts were recognized and appreciated. Their performance had proven them worthy of their award. Before SYF, my greatest nightmare is not about them playing horribly, but for them receiving an award that they do not deserve. Even if they had played terribly that day, I will always be proud of them.

用心

对Blogging 的兴趣产生在去年的这个时期。就因为CCAB 会议中LYF的一句话，让我觉得我必须更深入地了解学生们的心理。学校提供的课外活动时间往往不足，只能用来解决演奏上的部分问题；心理方面的问题，实在是顾不上。

大学时代，我最不能忍受的是主科(古筝)老师严密的监管。他始终坚信全方面地培育学生、强调心理素质的栽培。因此连哪位同学进过我的琴房和我谈了多长他都一清二楚，甚至比我的父亲更严厉、比我更了解我自己。我何尝不了解他。所以，就算厌烦也不敢多吭一声。只是我对老师的了解方式和他不太相同。在艺术方面，我努力地达到他的要求，往往比他预期的效果还好；在生活方面，我也很用心。后来，我比他还清楚他们家东西的摆放。最后，他还没开口我已经知道他要讲什么。

其实，我从小就异常认真地听课，更妙的是有选择性的听我需要的东西。好奇心不强的我，对老师们的私生活没多大兴趣，从不八卦也不去记。除了对课程的重点特别敏感外，我还清楚知道老师喜欢什么样的题型与答题方式。当然，我的预知能力也超强，测中测验题/考试题的概率奇高。所以，不用花太多时间就可以考取不错的成绩。

两年前的现在我很累。那时有三间学校参加SYF。今年我只剩两间学校参加SYF，但是我却更加疲惫。了解的背后是更多的耕耘，付出的时间、心力自然多。当然，我不可能完全了解每一位学生并解决所有的问题。但是，我已经很努力了。只是，同学们又有多了解我呢？指挥棒落下的刹那间，你们真的知道我要是什么吗？

Making the BEST out of the WORST

There is always too much things to do and to think about. Nowadays, I would not have time to sit down and enjoy any television drama nor have enough sleep. But, I do occasionally catch a glimpse or two while keeping my mother company.

The last time I saw something was a scene in Miracles on Channel 8. A doctor was helping an emotional mother of two daughters to see things from a different perspective. A mother of many children would always think of saving her weakest child in times of danger. When, however, the weakest child has no chance of recovery, should the mother only think of her dying child and not try to save her other child. Killing the dying child in the surgery may be cruel and unbearable, but that was the only way to give her other child an opportunity to live.

I was reminded of the days when I am forced to extract my wisdom tooth. I had four and I just could not bear to part with them. But, according to the doctor, due to the limited amount of space left in my mouth, I will continuously suffer from toothaches. Furthermore, it can never grow out of the gums. Not matter how hard I tried to keep them, they are all gone now.

For most working adults, they only work in a company and a boss to please. As a freelance music instructor, I cannot survive if I had only a boss. Therefore, I have many which could explain why I am so busy. Another reason is my bosses always think that they are my only employer. Honestly speaking, I had limited myself services to as few as possible to produce quality products. Unfortunately, not all my production lines are functioning well. If I cannot fix the problem, it is always best to terminate the problematic ones so that they will not hinder the others; a wise solution but a painful choice. I should be fair to the rest, right?

我不是垃圾

LZ老师每次都说我笨，哪有学生学不会，老师躲在被窝里哭的。自然是责骂学生，只有学生哭，哪能让学生委屈老师。但是，我命贱，学不会的拚了老命也要教会。所以，活该受气。最要命的，有些连做人都不会的，还要学琴；不只要学琴，还什么都要；困难还没有克服，就去找麻烦；做了很多的事，就是和应该奏的乐曲沾不上边；想了很多，就是没想如何去弹奏、如何使手指的运动弹奏出所追求的音响效果；最可耻的是，早已忘却了音乐是声音的艺术。

其实也没什么必要去委屈自己，更不必浪费宝贵的时间与泪水在一群散漫、不求上进、无药可救的音乐白痴身上。以前我总觉得做兼职不稳定。近日才发觉兼职的好处，可以随时辞职，也可以失踪，就是不出现，谁也奈何不了我。

每次学生SYF的乐曲都是自己编的。连人都不会做的恐怕是奏不好了，还不如及早使用编曲权禁止他们演奏，以免公众以为编作者是垃圾。

I don’t want to be Humpty Dumpty

Since young, I fall down easily. I have difficulties in balancing myself; to make things worst, my low blood pressure never fails to create a dizzy spell. It is common for me to have one or two fall every month at any time or place. The latest one was outside NJC during the March holidays.

I just cannot help falling down. It is my disease to fight. Facing the fall is my challenge. I do not know when it will happen again. But, I do make sure that it will not happen at the same place. I will not change my route to avoid the place. Instead, I will take a good look at the spot where I have fallen, analysis the geographical environment, and take extra care every time I walk pass there to keep myself in one piece.

Maybe this is why I hate running.

ps: A 卤蛋 will be awarded to each student who understand the moral of this post and practice it.

感动以后

GZ PLEDGE!!
We, the gz freaks of N-Y-G-Z,
pledge ourselves as loyal,devoted gz fans.
Regardless of batch, group, or committee,
to build a bonded ensemble,
based on yin1 zhun3, gan3 qing2, and qi2-ness
so as to achieve gold with honours, applause and HARMONY!!!
GO NYGZ !!

- Written by:
The Rs ((:

Two of my sec 2 girls posted this on their team-blog on 28th March 2007. Majority of the rest felt that it is cute; tong suggested reciting the pledge after greeting me; zp applauded the idea and added that “Singapore create national identity, we create CCA identity.”

I was very touched when I first saw it. My girls are more diligence, discipline and motivated than I had ever hoped for. Each is giving her best to the team, making a difference in each practice, and slowly overcoming our obstacles.

I wish I could like this pledge. I love their “based on yin1 zhun3, gan3 qing2, and qi2-ness”. However, will these elements be enough? What other fundamentals of music are required?

I admire their courage and their determination to succeed. However, should Gold with Honours be our ultimate goal? Should we play guzheng just for an award or for the Art? Why are we doing all these? At the end of the day, where will “We” be after SYF?

Forever my STARS

You are the STARS on 24th March 2007.

曾经，这只是几个人的梦想，不知何时变成了我们的理想。
为了这一天，我们努力。
辛酸与欢笑伴随着我们。
终于完成了......

今年初，一位同事告诉我她不舍得骂她的级任班，我一脸惊讶。
接下来的短短几个月里，你们让我明白了心疼的道理。
不到万不得已，我实在不原意责备你们。
因为，过后我会很难过。

Thank you so much for realizing our dreams.
We have a difficult month ahead.
Let's continue to work harder for our goal.

Nonsense of the Year

This is a sample of the readings that I am forced to do nowadays.

Simply irritating!

I just want to be Happy

Some people can never be punctual.
“Punctuality” means to be ready on time. I hate having latecomers, untuned instruments, missing people who are filling their water bottles or still in the washroom...... Why I am facing these? Maybe, I am too kind.

Some people can never improve.
“Improve” means getting better. However, the playing is getting from bad to worst. I patiently explained, corrected the mistake/flaw. Eventually, nothing happened. Why? The only reason I could think of is “欠骂”.

Some people can never be too hardworking.
SYF is just close at hand, I simply cannot understand the needs of having a three-day camp to play, not the guzheng but games most of the time, to bond with each other. If you cannot play the instrument properly, not matter how bonded you are in relationship, it is going to be a disaster. Maybe, I should withdraw myself from this catastrophe.

If I foresee a failure, why should I waste my time and energy to continue? If I unleash myself, I should be able to smile.

给自己的一份礼物

孩子都是父母的掌上明珠。我也不例外。除了上小学时，母亲坚持要我们学习做家务，自己烫校服之外，我再也没用过熨斗。中学时代，有忙碌为借口。大学时代，虽然是留学在外，但是上帝特别眷顾我，每次拿起烫斗都会惹人怜，不是宿舍的服务员帮我烫，就是仪姐姐救我。这次，母亲受了重伤，我深知自己吃不了苦，一开始就嚷着要聘请全职女佣，但是被家人一致性否决了。我不死心，想要找兼职女佣帮忙。父亲虽然不同意，也还很乐意帮忙，就是我对他的技术没有信心，直觉告诉我：他不是烫不直，就是烫破。所以，迫不得已唯有自己烫。

但是，我真的很忙。这个年头，有谁会不忙。再加上我们家的熨斗不肯合作，没烫几下就漏水，衣服烫了大半天也不直。这种日子真的很凄惨。前天，我终于忍不住，卖了一个新的熨斗，是架子上最新的型号，当然也是最贵的。

新的熨斗当然好用多了。可是，我还是觉得自己很惨，用了很长的时间，烫很少件衣服，还不够直，就是少了一份满足/成就感。追根究底，我对烫衣服始终产生不了好感。

Fallen Princess

It has been two weeks since that terrible accident. My mother fell from her chair while cleaning the tiles in the kitchen. Unfortunately, nobody was home. Persuading her to go to a hospital was not easy. By the time, an ambulance came, it was 12 midnight. The diagnosis ended around 3.30 am. Finally, she was admitted to the ward at 4.30am, with a fractured bone in her spine and a remark “骨头贬掉” from the doctor. I never thought bone can “贬掉”, like the way bread “贬掉”. It took us quite sometime to figure that out, with the help of a nurse from China, “骨头贬掉” means the bone narrowed. Mother was discharged on the eve of Chinese New Year with a metal frame on her body, a walking frame, and lots of medications. As she could hardly walk, climbing a storey of stairs would be impossible, an ambulance was engaged.

Life is not easy. But, thank God, it is not as bad as I imagined. Although, there is lots of housework, my father and brother are very helpful; my mother's friend helps us go to the market whenever our refrigerator is empty; my ex-student offered to lend us a wheelchair; another friend offered to lend us her maid. Best of all, my mother has shown great improvement too. Even though the pain is still unbearable, she could walk slowly without the walking frame and climb half a storey of stairs. If my brother could move back, life would be perfect.

选择面对

印象中我从来就没有背对着车门，就算巴士/地铁再拥挤，我也一定会在那个狭隘的空间里转过身去面对车门。或许是被车外的风景所牵引；又或者是被车门两旁厚实的柱子所吸引、握起来不仅高度适度，还非常稳定，只恨自己不是树熊，不然就可将柱子环抱怀中；或许是一种与生俱来的本能。

昨夜，我和学生一起乘坐地铁，小朋友背对着车门，我忍不住唠叨起来。有一年的冬天，我在北京搭公车（大巴士）进城经过积水潭车站，只见旁边的一辆小巴停了下来，不知何故突然一位小姐背对着车门掉了下来，只见她坐起来，后脑勺满是鲜红的血珠，过不久就如瀑布似奔流出来。如果，她当时不是背对着车门而是面对着车门，从车门掉下来最多只是跌破鼻子，毁容应该也是免不了的。

小朋友问我那是哪一年的事。应该是在95年末96年初。时间过得真快，晃眼间十年已过，有些事还是忘不了。

无可推诿的责任

2002年上慕道班时印象与影响最深的是牧师的自由论：上帝有百分之百的主权；“人”有绝对的自由，只是“人”必须为自己的自由负百分之百的责任。有些事我可以不去做、有些困难我可以不面对，有些答案我也可以不知道。只是最后选择了“不可”，就必须承担后果。

其实，我可以减少工作量，但是我没有。不是为了金钱，而是为了不让更多的人/学生失望。

其实，我可以用现有的筝独奏曲作为群筝合奏的乐曲，但是我没有，为了实现心中的艺术理念。

其实，当我发现演奏者和乐曲无法融合时，我可以用不换乐曲，但是我没有。虽然我每写12小节的音乐就需要用三个小时，我还是坚持。

其实，面对突如其来的政策改变，而所造成的青年节比赛的参赛人数不足时，我完全可以漠视，但是我没有，还不停地鼓励学生，希望他们不要放弃理想。只要他们招募足够的人员，就算是白丁，我也会尽心尽力协助他们，给自己增加忙碌与烦恼。

其实，这一切的忙碌与烦恼都自找的。既然选择了，就必须承担。

I wish, I wish, I wish!

If I am superman, I could fly from one place to another.
If I am immortal, I could be sleepless.
If I am a scientist, I could then clone lots of me.

I will try, and try, and try......

It could be Better

I thought I entered the wrong washroom when I saw this in Funan Centre. I guessed it’s convenient for mums with little boys. But, something seems to be missing.

A cubicle to contain it, I think.

2007年最难过的昨日

（一）终于醒来
星期六晚在弟弟家过夜。可能是不熟悉、又或许是潮湿的环境所引发的鼻子敏感症状，再加上极热无比的沙发和猛烈的冷气，整夜翻来覆去。早晨起晚了，匆匆就出了门，才意识到路线换了、德士也少了。最后，只能乘地铁到熟悉的地方才改乘德士。结果，还是迟到。

（二）何苦继续
同事LH向我投诉学生LM的不是。LM去年还是我的学生，话太多、懒惰、不专心、不用心，在课堂上纠正了，自习时还是错误弹奏，进度几乎是零，不知道走什么狗屎运去年考五级还能得优良。家长要为孩子选择合适的好老师；好老师当然也有权力选择适合自己的学生。为了LM，去年吃完了的晚饭大多会吐出来。今年只好委屈LH了。

（三）渴望结束
从来没看过更糟的演出。上半场学生弹奏不佳、态度散漫、舞台工作零乱；下半场虽然由三位专家出场，兴致已衰。这种浪费生命的事，我不会再做。

（四）努力逃亡
我祷告上帝，寻求祂的旨意。似乎，结果如何都会欣然接受。其实不然，只是自己不愿意做决定。答案是有了，就是圣意难测，做决定还是自己。

（五）乐极生悲
回家时庆幸追到几乎跑到了巴士。由于是支线服务，错过了就得等很久。没想到，司机会思想开小差，竟然闯红灯转入另一条巷子。刹那间，整车的人都醒了，有的以为搭错车，有的赶紧按铃急于下车，连司机本人也吓坏了。接下来的乱乱开、几乎和对面的巴士亲嘴等，坐得我胆战心惊。有乘客道破，原来是司机的车牌号开了二奖。